You have an axe to grind, right?
What if you don’t choose to do so?
You mean just forget about what’s bothering me?
That’s not easy.
Nobody said it was easy. Look at the bright side.
Which would be what?
Anger spoils your body’s biochemistry. Any actions instigated by anger have mental and physical repercussions on your own self for a long time.
Rather than harming the person who wronged you, you are secretly harming your own self, internally, in a major way.
And you need to then ask, is it really worth it?
Is what worth it?
The harm to your own self. Apart from that, the person that you hit back at, he or she’s going to react to your move. In a negative manner, that is designed to harm you further. So it’s a double whammy.
I didn’t analyze it that far.
Make that an nth loop. The both of you are going to go back and forth. With each move, the history is going to grow, and ultimately, large levels of negativity will start to get exchanged. The back and forth motion is not going to stop unless at least one of the parties stops reacting.
And what happens to the other party, after one party stops reacting?
There’s guilt. Remorse. Willingness to make it good again. The cycle starts to heal. Then there’s a positive move from this party. At that time, you need to accept the positive move and react positively in return for the cycle to heal completely.
Why does it happen like that?
You see, the party that’s left high and dry due to the injured person’s lack of reaction is expecting a hit-back, because he or she knows that he or she has done something wrong. This party’s body-chemistry is appropriately tuned. When the hit-back doesn’t come, the excessive biochemicals in the blood-stream turn toxic, and their toxicity gives rise to above-described guilt, remorse, willingness to make it good again etc. These are the first signs of catharsis and healing that’s setting in.
Your challenge as the injured party lies in the forgiving.
That’s the whole thing. Forgiving is such a difficult word.
Forgiving becomes easy if you focus on the positives in your life.
There must be something good happening to you or around you, right?
As in the smile of a child, or the large-heartedness of a friend or a partner…
Or just a sheer, beautiful sunrise or sunset…
What’s your point?
Just focus on that beautiful thing happening around you or to you, when any pangs of injury surface. That’s how one starts to forget. Once an injury is completely forgotten, forgiveness sets in.
Then, when the other party senses that you have forgotten and forgiven, his or her positive reaction comes forth, which you then need to react positively to for healing to be complete.
So that’s it, is it? Sounds easy. In real-life, however, it’s difficult to execute. Emotions come in the way.
That’s what I’m trying to tell you. When they come in the way, that’s the injury surfacing. When it does, focus on the positives we discussed. Those very emotions will then subside, till they have been digested and thrown out of your system in a balanced manner.
All right, all right, I get the point. I’ll give it a shot.